Saturday, June 27, 2009

ESSAYS: PRAYERS CARRIED to the SICK BED


Contact Robert ::: archangel12@bellsouth.net
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Essays: PRAYER CARRIED to the SICK BED
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THOUGHTS OF A FATHER
§ THE ANCIENT CHALLENGE: EVIL, DISEASE, AND DEATH
§ "GOD'S WILL AND MIRACLES"
§ NOTES FROM A CRAZY BROTHER
§ THE GREAT QUESTION: WHAT IS LIFE?
§ FAMILY TREES
§ A MOTHER'S LOVE
§ A SAINT'S VISIT
§ GOOD OLDE GEORGE
§ JEAN'S FUNERAL
§ AMBROSE'S TEARS
§ FRED'S SICK BED
§ THE WATCHFUL EYE
§ A CHAPLAIN IN TRAINING
§ A FATHER'S LOVE
§ THE CHAPLAIN'S SECRET
§ THE PICTURE OF MY DAD
§ MY GRAND FATHER'S PRAYER
§ SECRET: MY FATHER'S DREAM
§ THE 10 REALITIES ::: DO'S AND DONT'S
TRAINING AND EDUCATION OF THE CHAPLAIN


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A NOTE OF GRATITUDE FROM A FATHER


A BIG THANKS TO YOU FATHER “O”

ONE OF JEFFERY’S MANY
… TEACHERS, COACHES, AND MENTOR’S.AND,


A GREAT THANKS TO YOU
... ALL OF YOU PRESENT WITH US TODAY.

FROM JEFFERY’S MOTHER AND FATHER
... OUR DEEP GRATITUDE TO JEFF’S FRIENDS, WORKMATES AND
ALL THOSE WHO LOVE OUR SON.


JEFFERY LEFT THIS
… CLASSROOM, HIS MOTHER’S SUPPER TABLE AND
… HIS DESIGN STUDIO.
TO GO OUT AND WORK AMONG MANY
… STRANGERS AROUND THE WORLD


TO DO SOMETHING THAT WAS
… GOOD, AND CLEAN, AND CREATIVE.


WE ARE REALLY PROUD OF JEFFERY.


IN HIS OWN WAY, 
JEFFERY HAS AFFIRMED US
... HAS PLACED IN EACH OF US
… BY SOME MYSTERIOUS WAY


A SENSE OF PURPOSE AND MEANING
…  HIS GIFT  TO  YOU.


 WITH HIS LOVE IN OUR HEARTS
… WE CAN SAY WITH CERTAINTY
MY LIFE
... HAS COUNTED FOR SOMETHING.

THOUGHTS OF A FATHER

At this time things do not seem to make sense when our son, that we have loved since a baby, has been taken away from us at the wrong time.
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Death never comes when you want it to come. Nor, at the  convenient time. My faith teaches that each of us will be put to the test. Each must take their turn. But, our trial never comes as we would want or expect.
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Some might say that the world was never meant for someone as talented and creative an architect as Jeffery.
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Jeffery finished his work and left the stage in a manner which leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts as the fragile threads of our faith are strained so violently.
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Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such a moment of pain and suffering? Probably, very few. And, even those would have only a whisper of the inner peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief,horror, and desolation.

My deepening pain cannot be ended with my own words, nor should my memories attempt to do that.
My pain, for my son, Jeffery is a legacy for me alone.
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Not that Jeff would inflict such pain by choice- but there it is- a lump in the middle of my heart as it seems also to be in your spirit and the hearts of his workmates, brothers, and family.

And, this hurting must burn its purifying way to completion.

Something in us dies when you bear the unbearable and it is only in that dark night of your soul that you are prepared to see as God sees and to love as God loves.

Now is the time to let grief find full expression- and with no false strength.

Now is the time, for me, to sit and speak to Jeffery and thank him for beingour son these all to few years and to encourage him to go on with whatever his work now will become.
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And, in this knowledge that each of us also will grow in compassion and wisdom and love from the splendid experience of his presence.
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In my heart, I know that Jeffery will meet us again and again and again in our memories and our dreams and recognize the many ways we have grown to love one another.

And, when we meet in these silent moments we will know in a flash:
What now is not given us to know at this time and why this thing had to be the way it was.

A rational mind cannot ever know what has happened.
But ... our heart- if kept opened to God- will find an intuitive way.

Jeffery has come from us- his mother and his father-to do his good work on earth- which includes his death. Now I believe that his soul and sparkling spirit is set free.

And, the love we can share with him is invulnerable to the winds of time and space.
And, in this deep sense of love includes all who knew him.

Today my son, Jeffery died ... things do not make sense when the child, now man that I loved, was taken away at the wrong time for parents.

Some would say that the world was never meant for someone so talented, gifted, and creative as
Jeffery.

There may be wisdom in this- I do not really know- but, what I do know that I will remember his smile, that wink, and his voice.

Peace and Only Good Things
robert r. lackney,
Jeffery Andrew Lackney's father

THE ANCIENT CHALLENGE: EVIL+ DISEASE + DEATH

We live in a time when "peering into the future", "personal speculation",and "knowing what is to happen" is in style. Just today there was a technical report that predicts that all human disease will be cured by 2050 and that human life expectation will be well over 134 years. The report continued with the promise that the mind and body will continue "undiminished". I would like to live in the comming age - but I won't- I am well into my 7o's-and time is brief.
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This is not the 1st time we have had a technological revoultion and there is one I would like to discuss.
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Israel, in the reign of King David, a man of great creativity, innovation, and leadership,lead his nation through a tremendous and dramatic change that made Israel a great power in the mid east.
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About 200 years before David, the Hittites - the neighboring tribes- had discovered the secret of smelting and processing IRON. And, slowly this skill spread but the Hittites would not allow Israel to have the technology. But, King david changed all that ... he introduced the Iron Age to Israel. Now, instaed of crude tools made of sticks and stones- The Bible reports- that Israel had iron plows, hoes, and military weapons. In the course of one generation Israel complety changed and was transformed.
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The introduction of Iron was in many ways has had the same impact on our generation as the "micro-chip" had on theirs.
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And, David found that there were many problems that his technology could not solve.
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There were problems still left - these problems are still with us. And, our medicine, our science, and our religion have not solved them. How do we solve these three Great Problems of hunakind?

THE 1ST PROBLEM: EVIL
Where does Evil come from? How do we control Evil? What is the solution to Evil?
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The Psalms is where King David describes the Evil in the human race by saying:
"He restores my soul". Have you ever thought about the contradiction we are?
On one hand we probe the secrets of the Universe and on the other hand dramatically open the frontiers of technologies in every field of human initiative.
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We see beneath the seas - 3 miles down- we look into the past- into the great galaxies and see 100 billion years into the future.
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Yet, something is terribly wrong.
Our battleships, solidiers, and leaders are promoting the destruction and the death of war.
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Now, I ask: What causes this? Why do we have these wars in every generation and in every part of the world? The politicians are promising another Revolution.
We cannot get along in our families, we find ourselves in a paralyzing grip of destructive behaviors that we are unable to break.
Racism, infustice, and violence now sweep our world bringing the tragic harvest of heartache and death.
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Studies of the most sophisticated philosphers- those of the past and the present- seem powerless to describe for us the solutions that we might use to break the cycles.
"Man," Mark Twain said, " is the only creature that can inflict pain and suffering for the mere pleasure of the experience."
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My hope is that one of us might come to the solution of: "How do we change man so he does not lie and cheat, and that our newspapers are not filled with stories of the fraud in business, labor, government, or athelitics or whatever."
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We see people taking beneficial technology- the internet-and twist it into something that corrupts our youth. Brilliant people design virus that brings down the whole system.
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The problem is not technology- it is the people using the technology.
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Scripture teaches that the problem is in us - within the heart and the spirit-our problewm(scripture says) is that we are separated from the Creator ... GOD.
And, it is the soul that needs to be restored- something that only God can do.
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Evil lurked in the heart of Cain at the Gates of Paradise.
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Christ taught: 'out of the human heart come evil thoughts of murder, sexual immorality,theft, false testimony, gossip, and slander.'
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Bertrum Russel (certainly not a religious man) said:
"I is in our heart that evil lies and it is from the heart that evil must be plucked out."
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Albert Einstien made this comment:
" It is easier to denature plutonium than to denature the evil in the heart of man.:
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I have these past months puzzled over these things- maybe you have also.
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We are unable to free ourselves from our personal problems that include lying, gossip, theft, larceny, adultury, or murder. Science helps with the "talking" cure, and targeted specialized drugs- and this is a good thing. It was the wisdom of David to seek forgiveness from God: " You who can restore my soul."
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We are body, mind, and spirit and there seems to be something inside of us beyond our intellectual experience we yearn for God- something we cannot and do not find in our love of technology.
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We yearn to know the meaning of our life:
Truth, Life, and Love are the fundamentals of purpose and meaning.

The Fundamental Questions Asked from the Sickbed.
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No matter who I have visited in the home or hospital at the bedside of the sick and dying- I hear the same questions:

Where did I come from? Why am I here? Where am I going? What is life all about?
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Even those who do not have a religious belief there is a wonder:
" Is this all there is or is there something else? "
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Thomas Edison said: " When you see everything that is happening in the world of science- and the workings of the Universe you cannot deny that there is a captian on the bridge."
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Even Grobochv answered a question on what he should talk about- he said:
"Ask me about religion and philosphy - there is something up there higher than we are."

THE 2ND PROBLEM: SUFFERING and DISEASE
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All our greatest doctors, priests, theologians, and scientists have realized that they are not able to solve the problem of human suffering.
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Science has done much to push back certaian tyes of mental and physical suffering and disease. Yet, in the most advance society of the world our policies and initatives produce poverty, families that self-destruct, and unbearable psychological pressures bear down on us.
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Have you ever met a person who did not have a problem, illness, or worry?
'
The age old questions we have not answered:
"Why do we suffer?" " Can we solve suffering?"
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( Note:The chaplain refers to the Psalms as we turn to God: " The Lord is my Shepherd.")
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THE 3RD PROBLEM: DEATH
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Death is a problem that we have not solved. Some people feel that Death is something that should not be discussed, conversations about dying are to be avoided, death is a subject difficult for us to face.
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As chaplains we meet many people who live as if they are never going to die- they feel immune to the "sting" of death. And, why not? Our technology, hospitals, medicines and the implied promises project the myth of our immortality. Any disease can be "fixed" these days- just look at the advancement of drugs and therapies.
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We hear and see people on the TV, movie screen, and radios like Marylyn Monroe, Clarke Gable, or president Reagan who have just a powerful presence as they had in person. In fact, my grandchildren believe that these people are still among the living. They do not know that Marylyn, Clarke, or Reagan are dead.
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It is inevitable that all will die and it is very difficult to understand that we will die. There are scriptures, of course, to remind us ...' every activity under heaven there is atime to be born and a time to die'.
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How often have we carried the prayers to the deathbed and witnessed the agonizing moments when the person before you was scared to death? Only a few months earlier - death never crossed their minds.
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I met a doctor in the ICU room 334, who never talked about God- did not believe in God- he was an atheist. He said that was the first time I have ever thought of the inevitable- and about God. He asked me: " Is there a God?"
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The university students who come to our church asked me a question: " what is the biggest surprise of your life?" My response: " The biggest surprise of my life is the "brevity of life"- it passes so soon and is so fragile."
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We stand around the dying " ... light the lamps with the holy oil ... so that they may live again ...". This is the sacred moment when the sane is witness to the terrible agony that we call regret - the sacred moment we see the regret in that man before you is dying. How should we live so not to have regret when dying? What are the rules? What is the formula? This is the "contradictons" found on the battlefields of Evils, Disease, Suffering, and Death.
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People can achieve extraordinary heights in science, the arts, human enterprise and at the same moment filled with hypocrisies, uncontrollable anger, and self-hatred.
We are a mixture of :
Angels and Demons. Genius and Delusion. Good and Evil. Life and Death.
More to come

SOME THOUGHTS ON THE AFTERLIFE

QUESTION ONE: Is there life after death?
Is Death the end or is there something more?This is the ultimate question.There is no more of an important question that we will face. All other issues are trivival.

The normancly we invent is a sham. Death destroys everything. The "Great Wrecking Ball".
Everything we have accomplished , everyting we are doing now, and all of our plans for the future are destroyed at our death.

Why then think about the issue? I cannot do anything about it so why should I be bothered with this issue : Life exists after death? This is the intellectual condundrum. We should be content with the more realistic forms of life: Objectivism. Politics. Pop-Culture.Art. Memories. Children. Enterprises. and the like.

 Bogus forms of immortality: Write a book. Work of Art.Make a film.Your name on a building.If your life was to double from 70 to 140 years or your life would end in 6 months… you cannot be neutral.

How odd to say: “I do not care one way or another”. Is this a profound denial?People do not want to go to funerals and confrontb the dead in a box. They want to “Get on with their lives”. They do not want to say name of the dead … they say: “The dean played their part and now have left the stage.” Or: “ He is not dead … he has dissapeared and is alive … in Heaven. People do not die they disappear”.

QUESTION TWO: What do our scientists say?
" As biologist Richard Dawkins puts it in his new book "The God Delusion," faith is a form of irrationality, what he terms a "virus of the mind." Philosopher Daniel Dennett compares belief in God to belief in the Easter Bunny. Sam Harris, author of "The End of Faith" and now "Letter to a Christian Nation," professes amazement that hundreds of millions of people worldwide profess religious beliefs when there is no rational evidence for any of those beliefs. Biologist E.O. Wilson says there must be some evolutionary explanation for the universality and pervasiveness of religious belief."

QUESTION THREE: What do you think?
Position A: In the secular account, "You are the descendant of a tiny cell of primordial protoplasm washed up on an empty beach 3 1/2 billion years ago. You are a mere grab bag of atomic particles, a conglomeration of genetic substance. You exist on a tiny planet in a minute solar system in an empty corner of a meaningless universe. You came from nothing and are going nowhere."

Position B:
In the Christian view, by contrast, "You are the special creation of a good and all-powerful God. You are the climax of His creation. Not only is your kind unique, but you are unique among your kind. Your Creator loves you so much and so intensely desires your companionship and affection that He gave the life of His only son that you might spend eternity with him."

Only good things
robert Lackney, chaplain

"GOD'S WILL AND MIRACLES"

Those who lack faith they must serve.
Those who want God they must believe.
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r.r.lackney, chaplain
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"GOD'S WILL": MIRACLE? FAITH? REALITY?
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Disease, illness, sickness, and death to a chaplain are the "signs" of a deeper reality, as well as, the focus of medical treatment and research.
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Many call out to God and ask for a miracle ... that they may be restored to health.
This "gift of faith" ... the unreserved belief that all things will be made new.
We are called to not be afraid, to really believe that we can touch the divine hand that heals and that gives new life.
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The power of God conquers the impossible: "God's Will!"
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These things we call "God's Will and Miracles":
How do we explain the wonders that we wittness in light of our scientific knowledge and experience?
How do we explain circumstances that we know just cannot happen?
Do divine healings last forever?
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Thomas Merton confronted the reality of God's Will and Miracles and said:
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"If you want to know what is meant by "God's will", this is one way to get a good idea of it.
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"God's will" is certainly found in anything that is required of us in order that we may be united with one another in love.
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Everything that is demanded of me, in order that I may treat every other person effectively as a human being, "is willed for me by God under the natural law."
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I must learn to share with others their joys, their sufferings, their ideas, their needs, their desires. I must learn to do this not only in the cases of those who are of the same class, the same profession, the same race, the same nation as myself, but when those who suffer belong to other groups, even to groups that are regarded as hostile.
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If I do this, I obey God. If I refuse to do it, I disobey God. It is not therefore a matter left open to subjective caprice.”
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Life's moment to moment experiences distract us from what is really happening to us. Someone says something hurts us and we do likewise and begin to think it or begin to despair. What has happened is that we have failed to give love!
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God's will, regardless of our circumstance, is to reach out to those God has sent into our lives and to share with them the love God has shared with you.
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Maybe this is God's will? Maybe this is the source of the miracle?
r.r.lackney, chaplain

Sunday, June 21, 2009

NOTES FROM A CRAZY BROTHER

“We enter the world as a mixture of water, protein, and carbon.
Awakened by the Spirit we become flesh.To grow, learn, and serve.
This is Truth, Life and Love.”
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robert r. lackney, chaplain
http://archangelpublications.com/8IIdeasWorthy/81.html

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NOTES FROM A CRAZY BROTHER
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Greg, the greatest thing I can offer to you in your crisis is hope.

Let me begin with the premise that death is always near us and we will die.

For those who are at the doorstep of death’s call, despite all the odds this time could become the most meaningful event of our entire lives.

So, to quote the great Margo Channing, the main character in the play:
“All about Eve”, “fasten your seatbelts, this is going to be a hellva night!”.
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Okay, the truth is that you are dying and in a horrible, protracted way.
But, the way in which you are going to die has built into it some distinct advantages.
These advantages, I believe will be revealed over a period of time.
We can try to image what these are.
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Most Obvious:
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Greg, your family will care for you. And, your sister’s loving heart will not seek one ounce of credit for taking on this responsibility. She and good husband and children, who very much want to be available to you so as to make your final days as comfortable as possible.
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Less Obvious:
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As you grow weaker and more dependent on the care of Bev and the guys.

As painful as this might be emotionally, not to mention physically, there is the distinct possibility that your inner self- that part of you that is intangible, your spirit:

... will respond to that care with an ever deepening sense of gratitude.

Your slow march to paralysis and death will include a deep sense of loving kindness that will awaken your spirit.

This sense of love grow within you and those around you.

Love will become more and more profound.
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Least Obvious:
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As Love is awakened and made visible in the moments of realities of your suffering you will begin to see yourself in a different light. All the perceived past failures, doubts, regrets about yourself, or others will fade into obscurity.
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Greg, in this experience, you will come face to face with pure selflessness of the love that has been extended to you over a lifetime. And, in this you will come to understand- in your heart- what few people who have had the opportunity of a lifetime to experience.
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This is the only true love- the real love that makes life worth living and the only love that brings True Joy.
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Everything else the world has offered is a mere substitute..
Greg, you have experienced love in your life
… and have shared this love given to you … with others.
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Love will give these last days less painful and will fill the moments with great meaning
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and, if I may, great wonder of the awakening to God:

Process: COMPASSION to GRATITUDE to LOVE
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A note from your crazy brother.
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http://archangelpublications.com/4sacredimages/41.html





Friday, June 19, 2009

THE GREAT QUESTION: WHAT IS LIFE?

“We want Life
We want Truth
We want Love.

These are our basic needs.”
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“ Ministry is more than a “pat on the back and prayer”.
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Reflection: What is our life all about anyway?
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Youth is spent wondering about how life is to be lived.
Many never ask what is the meaning of life?
Some may question LIFE’S purpose, meaning, and value?
How do we face our death- how do we face the end to our personal lives?
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Facing death is the ancient question.
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We are going to die- what does this mean?
How do we accept our personal destruction?
Does our acceptance of death teach us about whom we really are?
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Death is the great tragedy and its prelude we find ourselves in crisis.
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Many rationalize death, glorify dying and give a special meaning to suffering.
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In death there is a profound loss of skill, knowledge, personalities, love, relationships,
and all kinds of things that are good.
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Not having an alternative to death we must
rationalize how meaningful life is in order for life to end.
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Some approach life with a kind of resistance to death:
food, exercise, mediation, miracles, rituals anything to slow or stop the aging process.
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Others will try to escape through: speed, flight, running, or suicide.
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Some will take advantage of death teaching that
“ We get what we deserve“.
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There are those, who predictably will announce
that we are all sinners and are responsible for this condition of death.
We are guilty and must face our personal judgment and redemption.
We are taught to believe that a new life is beyond this life
and embracethis promised Paradise that is free of all death.
These people teach that we must focus on the afterlife and forget about this life.
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A Chaplain's Response
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The Chaplain sorts through the "contadictions" within the circumstances of crisis:
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“Yes, we must, in the end, cope and endure with our death.
The Chaplain's work begins in the midst of the individual’s personal needs
and continues to walk “shoulder to shoulder”
with that person standing in front of us who has been sent into our lives:
The Chaplain enters into ... and ... through the emerging crisis.”
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We want Life … We want Truth … We want Love.
These are our basic needs.
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Our destiny remains to create and grow beyond our selves:
Our plan is always to live!
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We must honor the reality that we are to live our lives forward
but understand our lives by looking backwards.
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In the end, the goal of human life is to
continue to learn and expand knowledge.
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We might ask:
What do we do with this time that we have left to us?
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We are called to go beyond our currently "perceived" limitations:
Each of us are to be encouraged to lift ourselves to the heavens,
to speed through space, to go beyond our self imposed horizons.
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As a Catholic Chaplin I am often asked:
“What is your understanding of life?
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Perceiving what this life and this world should be like for you?
What do you want to see happen in your lifetime?
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My answer to this question:
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We want to see not just radical life extension but life expansion.
The full development of all the human capabilities.
We have been created and carry within my being as described in
Ephesians 1:14-24.
Our grand purpose, our primary initiative as a living being is
the expansion of knowledge, art, music, and personal relationships.
All this is robbed by our death.
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We seek “Personal Transformation“ that searches the infinite,
that labors to expand and discover infinite knowledge.
This, for me, is each individual’s quest:
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“ Go to God”.
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This personal quest is profound:
it is practical, it is spiritual, and it is divine.
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We are designed to grow and expand,
to “spiral out“, and spread love, art, music, and to transform our lives.
We are created for:
Love, Work, and Knowledge
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As we grow in Knowledge, bathed in a Love that is immeasurable throughout life
we must also face the"regrets" we hear at the sick bed.
Some say: that a life has not really been lived unless there are Great Regrets!
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Our Greatest Regret?
What has been revealed to me as chaplain;
"Regret is the memories of the love we have held back.
This is the only real pain and suffering we carry within ourselves."
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And adding:
" The time we waste worrying about being loved
even though we know that we have been loved
as if we are the only person in the whole world loved by God.
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Peace and Only Good Things
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robert r. lackney, chaplain

FAMILY TREES

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“ Come from the looming darkness
To Work
To Love
To Play.”
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r.r.lackney, permanent deacon

REFLECTION: FAMILY TREES
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Several years ago I had a conversation with friends regarding “Family Trees”.
… One, gal claimed to be a descendent of royalty with
… ancestors from a small town out side of Paris.
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Another, whose name was “Tischler:
… when translated he said means: a maker of shoes.
Eric’s relatives were cobblers in Germany.
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Then Tom, an Irish Catholic turned Anglican, brought out a large bound book,
… thumbed through the pages pointed to page 930 to the name “Plunket”.
… Plunket is that saint, who we all have heard about from time to time,
Mr. Plunket had unwillingly lost his head bringing a message of
… protest to King Charles about injustices of the king’s lords.
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The old saying in Tom’s family gatherings remains:
… “ Please don’t kill the messenger!”
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These discussions were great
… Inspiring historical backgrounds of each person over lunch.
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Then someone called on me.
… “Where did your family come?” A voice whispered.
And, I am not sure at the time who, what, where I had come from!
… So, I repeated a story told to me by my mother.
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My grandmother, aunt Lizze’s family, was the Elkins of Elkins WVA,: The
… Williamsons were families who took up with Cherokee Indians in the mid 1700’s.
My great grandmother was Cherokee. Her name:
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… Sunflower that Smiles
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Her father’s name- that is my great- great grandfather was a chief and was called:
… “Pulling a Canoe”.
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For many family backgrounds remain mysteries.
… A mystery for some of us yet to be discovered.
The most common questions asked when meeting people:
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What do you do?
Where do you come from?
Who are you?
Why are you here?
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Only Goodthings
Robert r. lackney, deacon

A MOTHER'S LOVE

“ The Spirit inspires the whole person making God’s Love active, Christ’s Light Visible.”
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robert lackney, chaplain

Reflection: A Mother’s Love

This family or’ time has felt the cold of winter’s sting
To this sacred garden we come with opened hearts
Melted by a mother’s love, becoming the flowers of the spring.
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Do not our mothers bring to us the seed of life?
Embraced by hope, love dos’ know.
Speak to mother’s love, in our daily words and see
The flowers planted within our hearts will grow.
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These many years we have hoped and prayed on this Kentucky land
All of us who have died in love and pain with these flowers we now sing.
With our children we stand and know
Easter Life follows the promise that is the spring.
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Happy times come to those who dare.
Come! Heed the words of Wonder and Beauty
Speak with courage, speak with love, and speak with gentle care.
Let our hearts opened to all who hear.
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With heads bowed guided by the silent love
We surely become these dazzling flowers so bright.
Creating, transforming a mother’s love.
Seeking always her Life and her Light.
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robert r. lackney, chaplain

A SAINT'S VISIT

“ The Spirit sent as our messenger to bring hope.
Your sin is forgiven I remember them no longer.”
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r.r.lackney, chaplain
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SAINTS AND SINNERS: A Visit from Mother
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The mail pile had been on my desk for over a week. I had not developed an interest in the work required to read all the materials received for the past few weeks.
Well maybe, if the important packages received from my publisher are opened i would have something to do on a rainy day.

Taking a large manila envelope a set of papers slipped into my hand and i began my read.
.
“Hmmmm” was my response: "This looks interesting." Believing the editor had made a few appealing suggestions to my work. Then reading on the paragraphs continued and my response turned from interesting to this is really good ... this stuff is great … this is Holy ... Sacred.

These were not my manuscripts. There was not a letter or address on the envelope or any identification of who or where these material came from.
.
There was however a fist full of original handwritten notes by Mother Teresa.
.
After reading the material I stared researching to find someone who belonged to these treasures.
After tracking down Elaine Elias, in California she said to me;
.
Oh! Robert! I wondered what happened to those letters!",
"Mother must have made one of her side trips,
I wonder what she has in mind for you!”
.
Saints above
is a glory!
Saints below
Well, that
Is another story!
.
Only Goodthings
r.r.lackney, deacon



Wednesday, June 17, 2009

GOOD OLDE GEORGE


"My Spirit rises up into the world of the invisible and once arriving there
I am embraced in the Divine Light of the Creator and forever dwell in Paradise."

.
rv. mr. robert r. lackney, chaplain

Meditation: the Death of George 12/2005
Good Olde George
BELIEF + EVOLUTION + REALITY

As I leaned against the wall, beneath the mounted TV set witnessing the doctors and nurses determined to restore his vital signs. The situation was hopeless.Nevertheless the activity went on and on. Electric shocks, injections, manual compression of the chest, the monitor’s sounds penetrating the corridors of the critical care unit, the “swish-swoosh” of compressed air entering the face mask- the room filling with staff, nurses, and doctors- and the steady cadence of the emergency care doctor whispering orders to Pam, “one more time!” until the words came, “Stop!”.
.
All had been done that could have been done to restore the life of George, a 75 year old man who had came into the hospital that morning feeling “weak”.
.
And, now his heart had stopped and George was dead.
Earlier, I was at the side of George during his x-rays, and I had walked by the side of his gurney returning to room 506 back as he was he placed in the bed.
.
His nurse Pam looked at me and said in a low voice,
“He needs you more than he needs us.”
.
I leaned over the bed placing my left hand on George’s forehead and said,
“ George, everything is fine, I am your pastor and I am saying your prayers for you- do not be afraid- Christ* is with you.”
.
As my hand lifted, the life data monitor started to “whine” and George became the sole interest of the 25 people of the emergency team.
.
The next 30 minutes the scene was “intense energy”.

Love in each face-was in full bloom.

Eddie, his friend, had brought George to the hospital emergency room, sensing the “weakness” was serious and wanted George to have someone at his bedside.

Eddie did not want George to be “alone”.

robert r. lackney chaplain



Meditation: Death and Life, 2005

George’s death was the 14th time this year I had been praying with an individual and they had died. George’s death left a deep impression on me including those who cared for him

As I was watching George’s circumstances I began to appreciate all the skill and knowledge that the nurses and doctors brought to his bedside. Science was in “in full bloom” for those 30 minutes.

The reality of Evolutionary processes: the selection of George’s life, his death. His son and his daughter’s lives continue.This is “Scientific Truth”: scientific evidence of the “Evolution of Man” through molecular biological genetic processes of heredity

The minister’s faith experience is based in “Revealed Truth”.

This places me direct conflict with the “Science of Evolution”, where God does not exist. Do I accept the “evidence”, inviting doubt to the mind?

A single lifetime of study* cannot “fully integrate” the vastness of creation’s “sweep” in time.

We cannot definitely prove that there is or is not a God, a “Supernatural Force” behind “it all”. Nor is it possible comprehending “life” through speculation.

I proceed with “life” in a spirit of “unreserved trust”. I imagine that my life is part of a pattern-the “flickering” lights on a Christmas tree.

Each light represents “one lifetime”.

One “lifetime of a solar system, a planet, a sun, a star, a bird, a tree, a thought, or the lifetime of one single soul.

Lives come and go in the Eons. Life emerges then disappears.

robert r. lackney, chaplain






JEAN'S FUNERAL

" There is a blazing light in this world more powerful than the dark.
A Creating Spirit providing courage and strength to those in need.
Call into the silence and listen, feel, then see the
Wonder,Delight, and Splendor."
rv.mr.robert r. lackney, chaplain

Meditation: On the Way to the Altar
JEAN’S FUNERAL

The past 7 years one of my assignments as the parish chaplain included weekly communion services to the local residential center for the elderly.
You get to know the people especially when you have a “participation” type of gathering where opinions of the group are included to expand the message of the scriptures that set the tone of the homily.
On a Tuesday I received a call from the nurse that Jean , my most favorite a patient, had passed away and was to be buried within the hour.

I rushed to the church, put on my vestments, although totally unprepared but managed to join the procession as the Jean’s coffin floated down the center aisle in the midst of a packed church.

Has we processed to the foot of the sanctuary my pastor turned to me and with a searching eye asked:
“Did you say you knew Jean?” “Yes.” I replied.
“Well then ” said the priest as we bowed at the foot of the altar,
“You can do the homily.”

Oh!!! The stress was overwhelming! I burst into a cold sweat and tried to recall anything that Jean had said to me. Well, we made in through the services but my lesson was as taught in the Boy Scouts: "BE PREPARED!" Now became the chaplian's motto.
robert r. lackney, chaplain

AMBROSE'S TEARS


" Hear the Whispers at Heaven's Gate as the Spirit fills you with
immense Truth, Love, and Joy
As your heart sings the songs and melodies of Paradise."
robert r. lackney, chaplain

Meditation: A Minister in our Midst
AMBROSE'S TEARS

As Ambrose shared his story and complained that he could not find a pastor willing to visit a sick prisoner at the local stare prison.

One his prayer mates said:

“Ambrose, you have seen this man every week for the past 12 years- spending Christmas, Easter and birthday’s with him- Ambrose you are the man’s minister!!!”

Ambrose felt he was unworthy and not capable to bring the prayers to Eddie’s death bed- but he reluctantly agreed with his prayer group.

At 3 o’clock on a Saturday Ambrose sat on the Eddie’s bed and told him that he had been told that he, Ambrose, was his minister and asked if he wanted to pray.

There was a slight nod of Eddie’s head and as Ambrose prayed he noticed a tear had formed in Eddie’s eye socket and filled it with a tear. Taking the little finger Ambrose dipped the tip into the tear and said to Eddie:

“ I Baptize you in the name The Father , The Son, and The Holy Spirit.

After the 5 thirty mass later that day while Ambrose was at church services he received a call that Eddie had died at 5 o’clock.

robert r. lackney, chaplain


BENEDICTION: Love at the Bedside
Personal Reflection


Sister Mary Eleanor, my high school English teacher teaching:
‘…When everyone is running towards a cliff – the person who walks in the opposite direction- seems to have lost their minds’.


So we might fall into a pattern of ‘ordinariness’ we fail or do not want to change.
What has characterized our times is what might be called:

The decline of the love of the Presence of God in our lives.


It started when we began to ignore or put aside our personal faith experiences and failed to share our encounters with God with one another.

Some felt there was no such thing as the “Sacrament of the Present Moment”
A few even cast doubt on the “sacrifice of our Blessed Lord” and
… The value of our personal relationship with God.


“ We all suffer from what the world suffers”
What St. Paul calls a lack of feeling for one another: A loss of the common curtsies among strangers (trust/response/commitments/ accountability)

Love, Love for others seems to be in decline.
When love is in a decline
There is a decline of gratitude.

Gratitude for the goodness, mercy, and the Love from God.

Peace and Only Good Things

robert r. lackney, chaplin

















FRED'S SICK BED


" O'Spirit we stand beneath your Gaze of Love. You yawned and the slime became
Bugs, Beetles, Bees, and Butterflies.
You breathed and we became flesh.
Creation shouting Praise, Thanksgiving, Gratitude, and only Good Things!"

robert r. lackney, chaplain

Meditation: The Life Journey?
FRED’S SICK BED

One of my first assignments as a chaplain in traing at St. Vincent's Catholic Hospital in Toledo, Ohio, was to record my experiences of the people, places, and work that I had been involved over a lifetime of doing all kinds of things.

Surprised that in the writing an abbreviated ‘autobiography’ you can organize life in order to see and to understand a bit better all those moments of happiness, struggles, and circumstances that lead from one point to another.
A chaplain does develop a sense of what has happened to that stranger visited in a hospital as well as your own personal life’s journey.

I remember a friend of mine named Fred who was in is sick bed who after I had read from a saint's theology that when we close our eyes to this world in a split second we open our eyes in the next and look into the face of Christ.
Wondering about this reality I asked my friend, "Fred, what are you going to say to Christ when he met the Lord "face-to-face" after your death?" After a long time looking at me, pausing to look out the window, and staring at the ceiling:
Fred said:
“ Lord, what in the hell ... was that all about?”

Well, writing your auto bio is something like that. Dealing with the good things of course- but recognition of the misdirection’s and regrets that are certain to come to us all.
robert r. lackney, chaplin
















THE WATCHFUL EYE

" Spirit of Creative Imagination where all things flow and
all things are gathered into the Divine Presence.
Here Creation continues groaning, bursting, flashing, spinning in the Amber Light.
There! See! The Divine standing at the Edge of Space and Time as we disappear into God"
robert r. lackney, chaplain
Benediction: The Watchful Eye
Workshop presentation to Chaplin Community
July 19th 2008: by robert r. lackney, chaplain

When I wonder about the brevity of life I suspect there are many gifts and talents that are hidden and dormant in each of us, and the people we serve in our hospitals and nursing homes.
That is if someone has not taken interest in us and drawn them out of us:
Or we have not had the time due to our individual circumstance.
Or the opportunity to use or develop them.

Parents, pastors, professionals, and teachers who are often given
The Watchful Eye, the Encouraging Word, or the Human Touch.
These create the opportunity for a person to do something and to do it well.
We chaplains, teachers, pastors, parents are often the first “nudge” a child will feel as they begin their journey of discovery, exploration, learning, and personal formation.

There are many of us searching- there are many of our children searching and it is a good time to search, to think about our past, to think about who we are, and to imagine about whom we are to become.
Throughout life many pursue a vision of Fame, Fortune, and Power.
Others pursue a Vision of Service.

Whatever the mission we are called we are to constantly explore our gifts and talents to continue to express our Prayer, our Art, our Vocation, our Mission, Our work and Our … FAITH.
As Mark Anthony said of Caesar
… “the good is often buried in their bones”.
.
Only Good things.
robert r. lackney, chaplain

A CHAPLAIN IN TRAINING

" Chaplins have the sacred duty to create a world of inspired thoughts, holy works, divine visions each revealed by the spirit within that flow from
the source of Great Goodness, Truth, and Beauty."
robert r. lackney, chaplain

Reflection: The Training of the Chaplin

My first visit to a state hospital was years earlier in 1953. A 15 years old, a cub draftsman with Britsch and Munger architects. Assigned to Willis Vogel, the field superintendent for the office we were to measure several “Wards” that needed minor repairs to the interior finishes.

These trips into a state mental institution would affect my thinking for many years. My first project assignment under Mr. Vogel was to observe, record, and draw the floor plans of six existing buildings.

For years the images of men and women living alone in institutions has become my witness through these daily trips to the woman’s wards, the men's wards, Building 15, would haunt my memories.
Memory fragments of an ear or a lip, or the back of a head, or a foot, a leg, a stomach, a thigh, eyes upon eyes staring into eyes. Smells of sweat. Smells of sex. Smells of loneliness. Smells of desires.
I saw every human thing.
Some would cry out and moan in their inner misery.
Others will scribble notes or pictures and say nothing.
A few would walk quietly and move from room to room.
Most of the patients were silent.
Many were anxious muttering to themselves comfortable in the red vinyl and chrome chairs in the dayrooms staring into the empty gray space before their eyes.

At the age of 15 years, I had been introduced to the “human condition” and had been given a glimpse of the “Other Side of the Post Card”.
A youth witnessed human misery and ugliness in its most raw form.
A witness to the sacredness of suffering? Or, servant in “ TheValley of Tears”?
.
Only Good Things
robert r. lackney, chaplin






A FATHER'S LOVE

“Many believe that the Supernatural to be curious, extraordinary, a fantasy.
But to the awakened life the encounter with Spirit, Mystery, the Unexpected
is considered a common experience.”
robert r. lackney, chaplain


Mc Dowell House Benediction: “A FATHER’S LOVE”

Our farmhouse sits on a hill 3 miles outside of the village of Byesville, Ohio, and became my summer playground as a child.

One of my earliest memories, I must have been 3 or 4 years of age, was waking-up in a small dark room. A bright white light glowed in the crack between the closed door and the floor. I heard ‘mumbled’ voices in the distance as they flowed with the rhythm of footsteps.

I still hear the echo of my Father’s voice, “Robert! Are you awake? Its time to get up!”

Then door opened, my dad reached into the crib and picked me up. He looked into my eyes and smiled, kissed me on the cheek then lifting me on his shoulder he walked and I flew into my grandmother’s kitchen.

There in the early morning light, was my grandfather, Michael, with his white “stubby” beard sitting by the wood stove. Uncle John, elbows onthe table sipping his tea. My uncles Alvin, George, Bill reassuring me everything was okay their hand waving and songs of hellos.
The rest our “farm” of aunts, cats, and dogs were sprinkled throughout the "toasty" room.

My father, Andrew held me high above his head and in a gentle voice said,
“ Meet Robert! My son! The youngest member of the family!”
Well! In that moment, I felt as if everyone in that room loved me to pieces.

Even now after more than 60 years, as I look back on the farmhouse scene- it was a very special moment. I had heard the voice of my father full of love for his son: A Father’s Hope

It seems to me it took a long time for me to grow and become the man that my father wanted me to be. But, as I grew older and heard the voice of my father it was always a blessing for my life’s journey. My father’s blessing gave me the power to create a dream and the courage to fulfill it.
robert r. lackney, chaplain

CURIOSITY: My father talked and planted a wonderful dream into me.

THE CHAPLAIN'S SECRET

“Lord, send us a sign of Wind and Flame. Fill us with Heaven’s Light.
And when the time is right and we have
mastered the wind and harnessed the fire burning in our hearts then
we will set the world aflame with your love.”
robert r. lackney, deacon

Reflection: The Chaplain's Secret

‘I met God in the morning,
When my day was at its best,
His presence came at sunrise,
Like a glory in my breast.

All day long the Presence lingered,
All day long He stayed with me,
And we sailed in perfect calmness,
O’er the very troubled sea.

So I think that I know the secret,
Learned from a many-troubled way.
You must seek Him in the morning,
and
If you want him through the day.’
.
robert r. lackney, chaplain

THE PICTURE OF MY DAD

“We enter the world as a mixture of water, protein, and carbon.
Awakened by the Spirit we become flesh.
To grow, learn, and serve.

This is Truth, Life and Love.”

robert r. lackney, chaplain


MEDIATATION: THE PICTURE OF MY DAD

There remain a few black and white photos of my father, Andrew,
… not much in the way of “art work” or
… posed photos- “head-on” shots
from an ancient camera.
… always standing next to another person.
… a stranger at his side.

There is the Bowling Team photo
… the names of his drinking buddies scratched on the back
… every Wednesday at Haggerty Bowling Alley at Central and Detroit.
His 1940’s grin, black hair parted down the center-.
… the little “white” line from his “widows-peak”, and
… the pencil mustache. He was a “ladies man”
that is for sure.

With the nicknames:
… “Blacky” and “High pockets”
how could he not be?
… A "sizzler" on the alleyways and
… a sharp shooter at billiards his favorite games.
There are other photos, of course, and my favorite is
… the studio- head shot
soft contours of a young man- handsome was my dad.

Not a lot of pictures to look at for the
… 85 odd years he walked and told his jokes.

Nevertheless I can still hear his voice and see his smile
… feel his presence, as he would walk into a room
Filling everything in it with a bright light
… Filling The walls, tables and chairs, carpet- everything
Including me.


Only Good Things
deacon robert lackney

MY GRAND FATHER'S PRAYER

“ The creation of Beauty, Goodness, and Truth
Remains the Unity we seek.
Soon to discover this is a messy thing to do.”
.
robert r. lackney, chaplain
.
.
Reflection: My Grandfather’s Prayer

I remember after 65 years the smells of my grandmother’s kitchen.

Those rich creamy warm smells:
Charred hickory woods coming out of the
Ornamental iron oven, smoke stained with spicy-hot hickory wood
Mixed and Blended with the turkey, ham, mash potatoes and gravy.
Cherry pie, apple pie and rhubarb pie with a lattice crust and whipped cream.

Pink, green, blue hand painted porcelain dishes from the old country.
Little red roses dancing on the holiday tablecloth
Carried from the old country of Mayo Ireland, County Tirawley.

Steamy vegetables, and that heavenly embrace of warm-hot
Scent of bread that permeated everything the very frame of the house.

There would be 18 of us
Uncles and aunts sitting at the home made wood country table.
My grandfather, Michael,
Long white hair, mustached
Sitting in the big chair at the table’s end
Bright eyes and all smiles.
The offering prayer and petitions had just been said then:
A low groan from the head of the table filled with food.
My grandfather’s deep raspy voice would sing:

“ Rub a dud dub- Thank you Lord for this ‘Grubb’.”

From my right my father Andrew as if on queue says:

“The one who eats the fastest gets the most-est.”

Family fun:
Who could not feel joy,
especially the presence of family love at this meal?
Who would know that within three days
My Grandfather Michael would be dead.

This was our last meal at the farm with our complete family present.
We all have a similar story to tell.
.
deacon robert lackney, chaplain

SECRET: MY FATHER'S DREAM

“ The Spirit sent as our messenger to bring hope.
Your sin is forgiven I remember them no longer.”
SECRET: MY FATHER'S DREAM

My father talked and planted a wonderful dream into me.
Andrew gave me a “corner” assignment:
I was to draw something that I see or from my mind!
“Draw ANYTHING!” he said.
Over the years these “drawing assignments” turned into lessons for learning:
… mathematics, music, book reading, and essay writing.
listening to my father reflect the family stories:
… Places he visited as a young man, People he met, things done
… stories so rich in detail I felt as though I was there!
Even today I feel as though I am at the side of my father as
he walked the streets of Chicago,
… worked at the Stud baker PLANT IN South Bend, or
… paddling an open row boat through the night waves of Lake Erie .
… ‘Smuggling” Scotch whisky from Canada to
The North shore cities of Ohio.
These stories fueled my “imagination”, and
… come alive at the slightest encouragement.
I credit my father for giving me a
“CREATIVE IMAGINATION”
that would be fundamental to My life’s work
… That continues these 70 years.
A life of Beauty, Truth, and Goodness
… Fueled by an Insatiable curiositY that leads us to live each day
… as if it was a Saturday and we could live forever.
The SECRET, my dad taught me, was to develop:
… an insatiable desire to know- That irresistible desire to know
about everything we come into contact with
… No matter the subject, no matter how complicated, simplistic or esoteric it might at first seem in this we will continue to create our future.
.
robert r.lackney, permanent deacon

THE 10 REALITIES ::: DO'S AND DONT'S

“ The Divine Spirit seeks, discovers, and enters into the secret hiding places of our lives.”
r.r.lackney, architect

Personal Comment:
For some of us we work, pray, and write, and weep to end this pain yet although much time has passed
We stand at the same place we were when we heard those words:
" Jeffery is dead"
We have not moved on, forgot, or let go we stand in the midst of the echo.

REALITY 1 :: “Its been a year: get on with your life”
It is impossible to “replace” someone you love. Each person’s relationship is unique. It takes a long time to say goodbye. Until this is accomplished it is impossible to “move-on” .
.
A Chaplain may understand the Journey of “Loss” as:
1: Losses need not take away memories and accomplishments of life.
2: Losses do not take away who we are: Loss adds to who we are.
3: Losses do not take away from what we can do to minister to others.
4: Losses add to what we can do for others in the time we are given.5: Loss includes: sharing with one another, guided imagery, elf-examination, “virtual dreaming”, journaling, meditations and prayer, record of past accomplishments, legacy gifting.

REALITY 2 :: “The will of God- accept it”
Comments like: “God needs your Mother in heaven” are not helpful.
Scripture teaches that life provides little protection- we are very fragile beings. God promises maximum support.
Jesus: This world is trouble. But, take heart! I have conquered death: John 16:33
The best response(s):
God is with you- grace is in you to help you through this thing.
God does not “take” ( God might receive or welcome)
I claim Hebrew 13:5 “I will never leave you- not forsake you”.
.
A Chaplain’s may understand these needs in terms of “Rights” or "Privilege":
1: Privilege to have a personal sense of Purpose and Meaning.
2: Privilege to be touched and to touch.
3: Privilege to maintain their beliefs and values respected.
4: Privilege to hear the Truth (and still be in “denial”).
5: Privilege to remember their past, express resentments and regrets.

6: Privilege to laugh, find joy in what they believe to be important to them.

REALITY 3 :: “ You look great!”

People in loss look the same way really- just like you.
The emotions within are in chaos a chaotic mess.
These emotions are intense and are confusing
(i.e. shock, numbness, betrayal, rage, regret, remorse, guilt)
Grief: nothing stays stable- you get a hold of a point and it will rotate within an hour: a round and around. It is not a straight line by any stretch of the imagination.

If anything the individual feels misunderstood and the wrong comment can isolate them further.
C.S. Lewis: you may look well but in fact the internal struggle is great and takes everything you have to manage the emotions.
Response: “This time is difficult to you- How can I help you- Would you like to talk?”
.
A Chaplain’s recognizes the unique “styles” among those grieving:
1: Some individuals are “intuitive grievers” these people are “feelers”.
2: Some individuals are “ instrumental grievers” these are cognitive and action oriented people.

3:There are many differences in grieving, styles of personal healing among both men and women, children.
.
REALITY 4 :: “Its been 6 months – don’t you think you should get on?”
There is no quick fix. I wish grief could be done with in 6 months.
Grief must be considered as a deep wound- healing is a long time.
Research says ( 18-24 months).
REALITY 5 :: “ You need to get out more- get active”
Encouragement is a healthy thing.
The individual’s natural desire is to withdrawal and hide.
But, passing judgment- must not be done!!!! This only increases the pressure on the individual. We cannot help someone escape from their grief. There is no escape!
Too much activity delays healing and interrupt the process in the individual.
They are not lonely for the presence of others – they are lonely for there loved one.
Most feel as though their body is torn apart- lives are a shambles- daily survival is the goal.
REALITY 6 :: “ Funerals”
The costs of a funeral: A elderly lady died without insurance- the funeral director would do a service until he was fully paid”- up front.
The funeral does several things: a/ a place for the mourners to express grief, 2/ expression of love, 3/ begin the acceptance of death, 4/ a key point in the healing process- we must face death.
REALITY 7 :: “ The best thing to do is to avoid the discussion of loss”
Wrong! The individual needs to discuss this thing- including the minute things connected to it.
With each discussion a layer of pain is removed( making the death objective- helps to look to the future)
The people who were the most helpful to us when XXX died was those who lets us talk and talk and talk about it. The best were those who did not try to distract us from our grief- but encouraged us to open our hearts. The expression of feelings in words will ease and gradually end the pain.
.
A Chaplain is asked: “ Can I find meaning in this suffering or let go?”
1/ ‘Philosophers, sages, and saints through the ages often show a profound appreciation that the essence of life is to live each day fully and that a life is not negated by death.’
2/’ My hope is that patients and families will concentrate on living each day fully while accepting modern medicine's inability to extend the length of life indefinitely.’
3/"Fatal isn't the worst outcome." And Siegel adds, "Not living is the worst outcome."
4/ “The message to those who are taking this journey to letting go is one of hope.”
5/ We can live each day fully even as we accept the certainty of our own death and that of those we love.
6/ “To accept medicine's inability to put off death indefinitely is not a defeat.”
7/ "On the one hand, it is accepting the world as it was created, while at the same time having a profound sense that the Creator has granted life as a gift. "

8/ ' ...to hold on and grasp out of fear is to deny the gift and the Giver. Having walked this journey of "letting go" with patients and families, I only have a greater sense of the wonderfulness of life.'
.
REALITY 8 :: “You are young- you will marry again” “Your X is no longer in pain be thankful”.

These statements are not helpful at all. “ Clichés” all will create frustrations and aggravate the grieving.
Anything that immunizes the loss is not at all helpful such as:
“ He is in abetter place now”, “ You can have other children”, You will find someone else”.
Response: It is always best to listen compassionately and say little and do what can be done to ease the burden.
REALITY 9 :: “ They cry a lot- I am concerned it is to much”
A ::: Tears are a sign of healing: a safety valve. Crying washes away toxins that are accumulating in the body during trauma and tension.
B ::: Stress causes unbalance- crying restores balance. Without tears the tension does not go away.
C ::: If you are going to help learn to cry yourself or get comfortable with those that cry.
D ::: The profound sense of being alone and spontaneous weeping continues for some time.
E ::: Weeping  is different for each person and althougn will "burn-out" it should be understood by the chaplain this will not go away form many years.
F ::: Lonliness is profiund throughout and beyond the mourning, grieving, and sadness of loss through death.
REALITY 10 :: “ You shoulda, coulda ”
A::: Some of us might say:"I should have done more." " I could have said something to help him." "I blame myself for this death." This is nonsence ... do not "should" on yourself!
REALITY 11:: ETHICS: PHYSICAN + INDIVIDUAL  + FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS
There are several  Ethical Approaches/ Models utilized to  guide the Chaplain at the sick bed:
A/ THE ETHIC OF THE GOOD: Principle of Values
. Focused on a "good" out come. The Good Death. The Death Day.
( Who then can say what is Good?)
B/ THE ETHIC OF THE RIGHT: Principle of the Clinical
. Focused on "truth telling" to the patient.  Medicines to relieve pain, counseling for suffering.
( When should treatment be witdrawn?)
C/ THE ETHIC OF THE FITTING: Principle of Virtues
. Focused on the question "Who is this person?" So that a comple plan of compassion can be developed.
D/ THE ETHIC OF CARE MODEL: Relationships
. The model most utilized by the Chaplain focused in the idea of  "Relationships"
. Listening ... Accomodatng ... Waiting
. Compassion, Empathy, kinsness always  remains the core of reliving suffering.
Only Good Things
robert r.lackney, chaplain