THOUGHTS OF A FATHER

At this time things do not seem to make sense when our son, that we have loved since a baby, has been taken away from us at the wrong time.
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Death never comes when you want it to come. Nor, at the  convenient time. My faith teaches that each of us will be put to the test. Each must take their turn. But, our trial never comes as we would want or expect.
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Some might say that the world was never meant for someone as talented and creative an architect as Jeffery.
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Jeffery finished his work and left the stage in a manner which leaves those of us left behind with a cry of agony in our hearts as the fragile threads of our faith are strained so violently.
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Is anyone strong enough to stay conscious through such a moment of pain and suffering? Probably, very few. And, even those would have only a whisper of the inner peace amidst the screaming trumpets of their rage, grief,horror, and desolation.

My deepening pain cannot be ended with my own words, nor should my memories attempt to do that.
My pain, for my son, Jeffery is a legacy for me alone.
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Not that Jeff would inflict such pain by choice- but there it is- a lump in the middle of my heart as it seems also to be in your spirit and the hearts of his workmates, brothers, and family.

And, this hurting must burn its purifying way to completion.

Something in us dies when you bear the unbearable and it is only in that dark night of your soul that you are prepared to see as God sees and to love as God loves.

Now is the time to let grief find full expression- and with no false strength.

Now is the time, for me, to sit and speak to Jeffery and thank him for beingour son these all to few years and to encourage him to go on with whatever his work now will become.
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And, in this knowledge that each of us also will grow in compassion and wisdom and love from the splendid experience of his presence.
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In my heart, I know that Jeffery will meet us again and again and again in our memories and our dreams and recognize the many ways we have grown to love one another.

And, when we meet in these silent moments we will know in a flash:
What now is not given us to know at this time and why this thing had to be the way it was.

A rational mind cannot ever know what has happened.
But ... our heart- if kept opened to God- will find an intuitive way.

Jeffery has come from us- his mother and his father-to do his good work on earth- which includes his death. Now I believe that his soul and sparkling spirit is set free.

And, the love we can share with him is invulnerable to the winds of time and space.
And, in this deep sense of love includes all who knew him.

Today my son, Jeffery died ... things do not make sense when the child, now man that I loved, was taken away at the wrong time for parents.

Some would say that the world was never meant for someone so talented, gifted, and creative as
Jeffery.

There may be wisdom in this- I do not really know- but, what I do know that I will remember his smile, that wink, and his voice.

Peace and Only Good Things
robert r. lackney,
Jeffery Andrew Lackney's father